Orzal's Rule of Acquisition #0: Don’t Try to Buy My Fiancée

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I know I say this a lot, but I genuinely mean it this time: in all nine of my lifetimes, never—not once—has anyone so brazenly approached me and attempted to offer me Gold‑Pressed Latinum for my fiancée.

And yet… today, it happened.

There I was, minding my own business, when this Ferengi sidled up with the confidence of someone who’s never read a single line of Federation law, and made what he clearly believed was a perfectly reasonable proposal. As if I’d just hand over the love of my life like she’s a rare vintage of Tulaberry wine.

I’m still not sure whether to be offended, impressed, or concerned for the state of interstellar etiquette. Probably all three.

But one thing is certain: Ranih is worth more than the entire vaults of the Ferengi Commerce Authority, and the fact that someone thought they could buy her… well, that’s going in the log.



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